Broken - Coolie/Kuli/Quli

Definition
Coolie: A contemporary racial slur or ethnic nickname for people of Asian descent, including people from India, Central Asia, etc.<sup>[1]


term describing a low-status class of workers</sup>




With my head bent down, I stared at my plastic bowl of rice.  Remnants of chicken bones with slivers of meat I could not finish laid on top of the soy stained rice.  Around me, I could hear my parents' voice crescendo outside of the kitchen where I sat still.  Barely making out what they were saying, I knew that time would stand still before the discord subsided. 


I held my breath, but my heart still raced.  


And suddenly the kitchen door swung open and I turned to look at the two people I loved yet feared the most attack one another with animal like rage.  My Mother was sobbing, her eyes red. She ran over to the kitchen sink to get back her balance and composure.  My Father crossed over her to the cabinets, opened it with force and grabbed a porcelain dish in each hand.  With all his might, he threw each one in front of my Mother cursing at his existence.  They shattered into shards across our laminate flooring.  All I could do was stare at my Father while a surge of emotion that I knew so well started stirring in me. 


He turned around and walked up to me with his eyes fixed on mine.  I did not know what to do, so I stared back.  My Father was shaking, his demeanor cracked, and I could see his eyes filled with guilt, regret, and rage.  With his fist clenched he pounded his chest and wailed in agony, "I, your Father, am only a coolie!  And that is what I will always be.  Nothing more. Nothing."


And with those piercing words, my eyes welled up with tears, and finally in the wake of silence we cried together. 


----


That was the summer I realized how heavy the baggages were, and I constructed a position for myself to be in where I could change what was dealt.  I carefully molded it the best way I knew how in my young mind.  The structure was seemingly flawless for an eight year old.  Who knew that this moment would be the catalyst to what would take years to undo.






To be continued...